Have u always had a dream u wanted to hold so tight then suddenly it
feels like someones has taken it away from u in an instant, well yesterday that is what it felt like, i have been bugging my grandparents before and parents i wanted to study abroad for masters college or even just a short course before college all i usually get it a hash full of complains, especially from my dad, even just a convention once a year i got to go but my dad had a hell lot of complains so i am 23 right now living in the Philippines, graduated October 2008, but what really felt like knife through my heart is when my sister asked my dad if she can go abroad for college studies. Without hesitation its a okay for him, but for me i have been longing to study abroad even up to now for masters, another course or something and its always a no. I have to learn most of the stuff i know on my own all of these 3d technical stuff had to read up on my own and such since art is not that well supported in the Philippines, and again everything is always so easy for her, now even college she gets to go abroad for that, i have to work hard looking a lot of tutorials and such for my dreams as for her, it will be right in front of her door step with just the top professionals waiting for her, just that up to now it hurts emotionally i don't think it will be a while to get over this one.

Shattered skies, broken sleep and lingering ivory

As the universe shifts, cosmos shackles, the heavens open, shutter and close. Destiny forms into twinkling symphony.
To each to his own sound destiny gazing up, arm extending to the darkened blue, hoping to touch life's mystery, inches away then suddenly Gaia tremble and shake, the symphony turns into rigorous clash.
Another grinches pick ups the scattered and claims them for they own, my journey has seemingly has come to an end taken away by something else.
As i notice something still lingers, its my ivory star, shining a small light for me to follow again. The road will be once again unknown, the path i have forged taken by a luminous soul, forcing me to forge a new one.

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i know i should be happy but it feels like my dream have gotten another miles away from me.
this is pretty much my mood right now:
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